i can't remember if sean's always been like this or if it's a result from all the weed. but good god, he still makes me laugh. i luv you, sean!

once again i am sunburnt. you'd think i'd learn my lesson that I WILL NEVER TAN, but nooooooooo... i still had to give it a try. so as i'm lying there on venice beach on saturday i kept telling myself, "yeaaaahhh!!! i'm gonna finally get some color!" only to find out today that i was once again wrong. i honestly do have a nice tan on my arms, but it's not even all over my body. plus i still have that tingling sensation every time i touch my skin. i should just give up.

what would i do without monique? she makes the school day go by faster especially when i'm sitting there listening to the same damn song over and over again with my arms hanging to the sides of me, my head thrown back, and my mouth wide open. whether it'd be talking about ass-crack hair with lint, taking a dump only at certain times of the day, or how every generalization that comes out of my mouth seems racist, she definitely keeps me entertained. or maybe it's b/c she keeps sticking her finger up my armpit.

i don't know what's worse: the fact the my dad calls rick fox "rix fock" or the fact that i have a zit on my back and one in the middle of my forehead. i'm leaning more toward the latter.

so my brother dropped by my work today and he was harassed by my coworkers who wanted to get some juicy stuff about me out of him.

kathie: so are the two of you very close?
my bro: no. i hate her.
kathie: so what's she like at home because over here she's so quiet and keeps to herself.
my bro: ...

okaaaaaaaay, so that was unproductive. he wasn't being a dick, he was just giving them a hard time. meanwhile, i'm laughing my ass off behind my desk b/c he just wasn't cooperating. it must drive them crazy to not know much about my personal life.

ugh! damn this zit!

as the end of my school year is approaching, i've noticed a lot of the familiar faces i used to see are pretty much gone. yup, it's just monique, me, and the teacher. since the class is so small, we fly through the material and end up talking about artists our teacher has worked with for the rest of class. is it bad that i'm more focused on the fact that my teacher has no front teeth. correction: he has one front tooth.

anyway, as i'm driving home i pass by the young mexican boy on my street who sells corn every day. i was so tempted to get one since jesse got me hooked on it a while back, but i continued to drive. as i pulled into my driveway, i see my parents standing in the front yard shoving corn in their faces with huge smiles and juice dripping down their chins. apparently, mine was in the kitchen waiting for me. man, once i get one bite there's no holding me back. i just let the juice drip, i let the chili burn my lips and cheeks, and i let the corn get all stuck up in my teeth. ahh yes, gets me all horny.

3 freakin hours. it took me 3 freakin hours to clean my car. i have to admit the inside is spotless and shiny and i buffed away all the tiny scratches on the outside, but my skin is all messed up from the soap and chemicals. not to mention my mom kept yelling at me because every time i bent over you could see my butt cheeks. hey man, it was hella hot earlier.

i am so sick of going to school. i still love what i do there, it's just that it takes up a huge amount of my free time. this is my last 5 weeks and i have lecture on saturday nights from 7-11 pm (sucks ass) and class all day on sundays again. i feel like senior-itis is creepin up my ass. just 5 more weeks until i get my weekends back. damn, i can't believe i went through a year of weekend classes. nerd is me.

one good thing about all the stress that's been going on this past week, along with my sickness, is that my stomach flattened. yay! go me! i still eat about one meal a day b/c my appetite is pretty much nonexistent. i've been forcing food down my throat even though i'm not hungry.

fwoeijfalksj sfjlewkjrjwerlkjlk what the hell is up with my internet connection? dammit.

"the worse feeling in the world is regret" -- from a good friend of mine

this morning my dad and i had a little trouble getting the wiper blades off my car. not only was it raining, he needed 2 hands to get the damn thing off. so there i am in my pjs holding 2 umbrellas so my dad can get the blades off. i'm standing there telling him the car's gonna turn 5 years old this september and i still have the same stock wiper blades. his response? "that's nothing! i've never changed the wiper blades on the station wagon since i bought it!" OH MY GOD! that car is older than my brother! 24 years to be exact. i don't think there's any rubber left on those things. they're probably nothing but metal blades scratching on the glass.

freakin crap! nothing seems to be working properly with my internet connection. dumbass dial up keeps logging me off. not to mention everything in my buddy list disappeared and after speaking with aol, i found out it's a server problem. and every time i log in to blogger it gives me that "page not found" crap. kick me in the ass and call me a donkey.

the past couple of days i've been forced to analyze myself and how i handle certain situations in the workplace. as much as i would like to bitch back with my cat-ty comments, i find myself biting my tongue only because i'm trying to be the bigger person and keeping it professional. at first i was advised to not bite my tongue anymore and just watch what i say. then i was re-advised not to for fear of losing my job. i read somewhere that "tact is the unsaid part of what you really think". would i be tact-less if i always bitched back with degrading comments? how am i to gain people's respect if i'm always stooping to their level? or are the few seconds of sarcastic comebacks worth it just to shut the person up?

sometimes i feel so drained. sometimes i feel like i have too many things going on in my life. sometimes i feel like i can handle it all, sometimes i wanna cry. there are so many changes going on in my life and around me that i feel like time is just passing me by. all these events seem to be affecting me emotionally more than anything. i go from frustration to contentment, anger to happiness, sadness to silliness, cheerfulness to cramps. uh... let's got even go to the pms thing. then at times i just need someone to vent to and NO ONE is there to listen. am i alone or is this just a test of my strength?

is this thing working?