okay. since everyone is sharing their horror date from hell story, i thought i'd enlighten you with mine. most of you have heard it many a times, but shit. it still makes me laugh.

to save him embarassment by mentioning his name, i will refer to him as "little man".

first of all, the way he asked me out was just pitiful. jen convinced me to go to a bar with her so she could meet this guy she had a crush on. mind you i was the only one available to go with her that night and i still had flu-like symptoms that were killing me. so i threw on some black pants and a sweater and walked out the door with nothing but mucus stored in my throat.

judging by the looks of the birthday boy's friends, i knew immediately they were pathetic losers. the whole night little man kept following me and kept asking me stupid questions right up in my face and didn't realize that he was spitting every time he opened his mouth. at the end of the night he walked us to our car and out of NOWHERE asks for my number. "um. what the hell is your name anyway?" he soooooo was not smooth. don't ask me why i gave it, but i agreed to go out with him to see if he could redeem himself. who knows. maybe he was just having a bad night.

he picks me up in his little man's del sol and keeps the back window open thinking he looks cool. so not working. meanwhile we're driving around and he has nothing but shaggy blasting in his system. here i am trying to make conversation with him and he rudely interrupts me by saying "man! you messed up my flow!" and hits rewind on that damn "it wasn't me" song. no worries... it's only the beginning of the date.

he takes me to the media center and asks me what movie i wanna watch. as i'm reading the sign, he screams out "i wanna watch any given sunday. two for any given sunday." um. so much for asking my opinion. i pulled out my wallet to pretend to pay and he insists "no i got this one. you can pay for the food." ugh!!! anyway the dumb ass asks if i'm hungry b/c he wants to go to in n out. i had just had lunch so i said i'd accompany him while he ate. he scarfs down his burger and when there are about 5 pieces of fries left, he offers "do you want some?" no, dick.

after the movie he drives me up to the griffith observatory. since i've never been there i was getting pretty excited. finally! something could go right on this date. wrong again. little man forgot the park closes at 10 pm and security forced us to leave just as we get there. then he asks "have you been to california plaza? they have live entertainment... yada yada yada... " that actually sounds like fun. so we drive over there and i swear i hear nothing but crickets. he insists we take a walk anyway through the plaza, but then the security guard tells us to go home. that's just lovely.

by this time we're both starving so he takes me to la luna on melrose. but first i tell him i have no more money and he's says "don't worry. i got ya." the waitress asks "do you want to sit inside or outside?" being that it's freezing outside i replied "inside". but nooooooooooooo... he insists outside b/c there are heat lamps. we end up sitting under the only heat lamp available... which happens to be broken! so i'm sitting there freezing my ass off and then it starts to drizzle! when the bill comes i offer to give my measly $7 and little man had the nerve to take it!

i don't know if that night could have ever been worse. i'm forever scarred.