why is it that whenever a woman brings up what's bothering her it comes out as "drama" or "an argument". why can't i just express myself and how i'm feeling in words??? i believe that if i have a problem with something/someone i should talk about it openly with them. i guess it doesn't help when they themselves don't want to hear it.

i don't think i've ever been so upset in such a long time. i'm talking about anger and rage building up inside of me. i was literally driving 100 mph on a wet freeway last night with the radio blasting. every movement of the person sitting next to me was pissing me off. i seriously wanted to hurt him.

emotional pain i can handle. it's anger that i still can't seem to learn how to control. i HATE getting mad. i HATE anger. i HATE rage. it brings out the evil devil in me that takes control of my reason. how do i deal with it? silence at first. not to let the guilt build up in the other person, but to control myself from saying something i don't mean. to control unnecessary yelling. to control myself from looking like a crazy-psycho-bitch. i could have totally made a scene. i could have made it 100x worse. but he doesn't realize that.

every one is allowed to be angry, right? why is it the moment that anger is released from my body, i turn out to be insensitive and not understanding. fuck that. i am the most understanding person i know. conceited that may sound, but fuck it. it's the truth. it's anger that puts me over the edge. now i know why people tell me they're afraid of ever pissing me off. funny. i rarely get mad too.

when will this feeling go away? i was feeling better before i went to bed but every time i think about it, all these negative feelings surface and eat me up inside. inch by inch it creeps into my good side and tries to take over. i just want to be alone...