i can't even begin to describe how i was feeling when listening to my brother on my voicemail tell me that our dad was in the ER because he was on the verge of having a heart attack. the world stopped, all sound around me was muted, and for the first time i began to hate life.

guilt... for being out late with my friends when my mom was trying to get a hold of us to take them to the hospital.
helpless... for knowing there wasn't anything i could physically do to help my dad.
weak... for crying and breaking down in front of my friends.
anger... for God letting my dad experience so much pain.

on the way to the hospital i silently sat there doing nothing but thinking of my dad. HE'S THE GREATEST FATHER IN THE WORLD. he's raised me with extremely important values such as humbleness, humility, drive & dedication, open-mindedness, responsibility, faith, self-confidence, and most importantly, love & respect for myself and others. he's the greatest example of how life should be lived.

all i could do was cry. cry because i felt so lucky to have a father like him. cry because he didn't deserve to feel physical pain. cry because i was scared that i may have to face the rest of my life without him. i hate this. i hate crying especially in front of others. for someone who thought she could handle anything that was thrown at her, i felt fear creeping into my blood taking over every ounce of courage that was left.

please keep my father in your prayers. for someone who is usually unlucky when it comes to love, career, and opportunities, i feel like the luckiest daughter in the world.