i'm so confused. or am i. i think i'm just scared. i'm scared of the consequences of my actions. what a pussy i am. i'm scared of hurting other people's feelings. i'm scared of screwing up the comfort that i'm in right now. who would have thought i'd be afraid of change? i love change. throw change my way and i'll gobble it up like honeybaked ham. what scares me is that i'm starting to look at him differently. i don't know if it's because he's been a better friend to me right now that anyone has been in a while. maybe i'm just vulnerable right now. i don't know. why am i even thinking about it.