i think i cursed myself for calling in sick. i'm not really sick, but i have massive allergies. my nose is practically missing skin, my left eye is smaller than my right, and i have gas. my voice is messed up too, but i figure that's a blessing in disguise. my coworker this morning told me i could be a phone sex operator. i don't think so, buddy.

jimmy called me again yesterday. no, wait, on saturday. what's up with that? MOTIVE! still trying to figure out what it is though. i haven't talked to this guy in almost a year and all of a sudden he's calling again? the thought makes me so uncomfortable. i wonder what the little "chris kattan" is up to. i can't trust that little gossiping munchkin.

my stomach is digesting itself.

my coworker barbara and i were talking about drinking urine this morning. NOT OURS OF COURSE, AND LIKE WE'D ACTUALLY TRY IT! it was all about that diesel ad and how some people find it offensive because in some cultures people actually do drink urine. so i started thinking about my culture. yeah, we eat dogs. and chicken fetuses. and pig's blood. dinner at my house, anyone?