i just got off the phone with ry and we had one of those life altering conversations. it's amazing how despite everything we've been through together, we can still have conversations like that (though i can probably count them on one hand). he really needed to talk. seems everyone has issues of some sort. why we go through this crap is a mystery to me, but hey, life is a learning process. if you're not learning anything, you'd might as well be dead.